10.15.2012

"Are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?"

My apologies for my sabbatical from blogging. I've been busy carving jack-o-lantern faces into grapefruit peels...
                                                                                                          ....among other things.

Truly though, my brain has been under construction. Please pardon the dust...or lack of dust. I've tried to blog, but kept coming up empty-handed. Empty of words, empty of passion. I simply haven't felt like I've had much to offer. You know those days? (And weeks, and months.)
  
"It was frustrating how when people loved you they took interest in you and sometimes worried about you and personally cared what you did with yourself. Lena wished that love were something you could flip on and off. You could turn it on when you felt good about yourself and worthy of it and generous enough to return it. You could flip it off when you needed to hide or self-destruct and had nothing at all to give."
Ann Brashares, Sisterhood Everlasting

I'm still feeling a touch uninspired...
...but decided I can at least pass along the words of others until my own start making sense to me again. I don't read as much poetry as I wish I did, but finally cracked the cover of a collection of poems by Mary Oliver, and was hugely rewarded.

"Listen--are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?"

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable."

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." 

Maybe I have been "breathing just a little, and calling it a life." But this mental and emotional downtime has been restorative, and necessary. Sometimes it takes a funk to remind us what really lastingly matters. To give us the courage to throw out the rest of the junk that clutters up our lives.