3.16.2012

You are capable of transformation

convert'ible: being capable of transformation

Though it may call to mind shiny cars and women with wind-swept hair, that is the actual definition of 'convertible.' Being capable of transformation. I recently caught of glimpse of my own convertible nature when I tried grilled asparagus for the first time and....loved it. This coming from someone who has to be bribed to eat vegetables. 

I recently (like two hours ago) had a conversation with a good friend about running into people we weren't crazy about in high school, and finding that they had changed. That people who had intimidated and annoyed us in the context of eleventh grade were friendly and decent. Is it because deep, down-to-the-roots change is so difficult to achieve in ourselves that we consider others incapable of it?
 For a long time I wanted nothing to do with change. Even good changes unnerved me, and negative changes caused me to become weepy and lose my appetite. But now, with the insight of an adult perspective, I'm getting better at embracing change, and even seeking it out, sometimes. I'm trying to prove to myself that I can change bad habits (except maybe the nail-biting that resurfaced when Em was born). I'm trying to be more compassionate toward the ridiculous behavior I've displayed in the past (that includes yesterday). I'm questioning what makes up the core of my self, and wondering if there isn't more out there.

Believe that you are capable of transformation. You are. Believe that others are capable of transforming. They are. Give it time. Don't let the inevitable setbacks keep you from trying to reach your goals. Continue on the precarious and intriguing path to becoming who you're meant to be.